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Here’s the tea: it’s not just sex vibes, ok? It’s bout connection, feelin ya body wake up. Pro tip—tell ‘em to hit that spot behind ya knees, trust me, it’s a secret weapon! I’m obsessed, y’all, it’s my jam—like, I’d trade my fave car for a good rubdown some days. Shit’s therapeutic, but don’t sleep on it bein naughty too, ha! Sarcasm time: oh yeah, totally gettin this at the DMV, right?

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You know what really blows my mind? The local park on Maple Avenue. It’s a spot where I’ve done a few impromptu counseling sessions under giant oak trees – raw, honest, even a bit emotional. Some days I get so ticked off by unfairness I almost scream “You’re gonna love me!” in the middle of a session, dreaming of a Quentin Tarantino punchin’ up life with his epic lines – totally David Brent-ish too, yeah?

Oswego man killed in Montgomery crash