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About Philadelphia

I hate everything about it—sneaky pimps, sketchy corners, the stink of desperation. Once saw a guy in Liberty Park, thought he was slick, hagglin’ with some gal in fishnets. Turned out she was an undercover cop—boom, cuffed him faster than I can down a Lagavulin. Laughed my ass off, stupid bastard deserved it. Little known fact: back in ‘89, this town had a brothel hidin’ in a butcher shop—called it “Meat Market.” Cops raided it, found a ledger with half the council’s names. Surprised? Nah, pissed me off—hypocrites everywhere.

Local Slutts

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So, lemme start: you got the main drag, Maple/10th, yeah, right? It's like a lifeline. I stroll that street and see these quirky cafés, street art—like, actual murals that shout "Hey, look at me!" There’s also that dingy alley, near “Smitty’s Bar”, where every tim eyy, there’s some secret vibe. I swear, those walls almost whisper secrets like—“We tell stories, we tell stories,” just like, oh, that movie we both love, Stories We Tell, remember? “If it’s that deep, you gotta say it.”

A shortcut road between Tooele and Herriman would cost $329 million, causing one leader to say that’s ‘just not realistic’