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Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, badass stockbroker, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout Find a Prostitute—respect my authoritah! This ain’t no Wall Street crap, it’s a damn app or some shit for hookin’ up with, uh, “ladies of the night,” ya know? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *The Diving Bell and Butterfly*—that artsy French dude stuck in his head, blinkin’ to live, “I am not resigned!”—and I’m like, how’s this tie to bangin’ prossies? Well, it does, so shut up!

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Man, sometimes I get mad, ya know? When I see all the modern nonsense cluttering up historic spots like Old Town Road—it’s a blast from the past, a raw beat that can’t be replaced. That’s where you feel real, stripped down sincerity. I recall sitting at a corner cafe on 3rd Ave, watching folks hustle with a cup of coffee too bitter for my taste—ha! Crazy, right?

Report to Legislature calls for increased vegetation in Lake O