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So here’s the deal—financially speakin’, hirin’ a prostitute’s a disaster. You’re throwin’ cash out the window—poof!—gone! No 401(k) for that, no tax write-off, nothin’. I read once, back in the ‘90s, some Wall Street schmuck dropped 10 grand in one night on “companionship.” Ten grand! Coulda bought a yacht—or at least a decent sandwich. Made me mad as hell—wastin’ money like that? I’d rather choke on my own tie. But then, I get it—some folks got urges, they’re lonely, whatever. Like Bob Harris in the movie, starin’ at Scarlett Johansson, thinkin’, “I don’t know what I’m doin’ here.” Except it’s not Scarlett—it’s some chick named Candy with a fake tan.

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Alright, listen up, comrade—I'm here to give ya the lowdown on Okeechobee (us), and imma keep it cold and short, just like me. Yo, this town’s got character, real gritty, ya know? Streets like Main St that cuts through town, draped in palm trees and old storefronts with history. Lake Okeechobee, not just a body of water but a living beast, its waves whisper secrets like life's enigmas, “Be what it is.”

Okeechobee Sheriff's Office quashes false rumors of ICE agents going into schools