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So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as a rabbit on a date, when I spot this foxy chick – legs up to here, mini skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Groovy, baby!” I yell, but then – bam! – some plonker tries rippin’ me off. Charges me double, says she’s “exotic.” Exotic my arse! She’s from bloody Essex! Got me all steamed up, that did – I’m no mug, yeah? “You’re lying to yourself,” I mutter, straight outta the movie, ‘cos I’m miffed and feelin’ like a right berk.

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So ya gotta come see it all, mate. Feel the sands at Oceanside Pier, hear the music in the crashing waves, and let those moviescript quotes echo in your mind—“I’d rather be happy than right.” Lotsa love an’ messy vibes. Cheers, Sharon!

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