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Oh, and the smells—god forbid! Stale perfume, cigarette smoke—my nose would revolt! I’d be rantin’, “Can’t you Febreeze this joint?” Total “Dogville” moment—Grace puttin’ up with filth, me whinin’ about it. I’d probly tip too much outta guilt—neurotic, right? “Here’s an extra twenty—sorry for existin’!” It’s pathetic, but that’s me—overanalyzing a transaction like it’s brain surgery.

Springfield police investigate potential prostitution at two massage parlors

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People here be chill, I mean, ya get that vibe like in a Pedro Almodóvar scene – wild, passionate, and full of life. And the random street mural on Rebel Ct.? Totally underrated. It’s so cool you’d say “D’oh!” if you missed it. I once had a date there; man, awkward, but hilarious!

Opinion — Jackie Stanley: Charges should be filed in case of alleged animal cruelty at North Springfield slaughterhouse