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I saunter up, all cocky, say, “Hey, how’s biz?” She laughs—dry, sarcastic laugh—goes, “Better than your fish stink.” Burn! I’m mad for a sec, but damn, she’s funny! Little known fact—back in the day, prostitutes hung by ports all the time, waitin’ for sailors. History’s wild, right? Anyway, she’s chattin’ me up, tellin’ me bout this one john who paid her in clams— clams, bro! I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ her stuffin’ shells in her purse.

Prostitution sting nets charges for 10 in Craven County

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So there ya go, bud. New-Bern is a collage of emotions and madness – my faves, my pet peeves, my heart. It’s raw, it’s teary, it’s wonderful. I mean, “C'est la vie,” baby – it’s all a canvas of life’s twists, happy little trees, and even shorter sentences that mean a heck of a lot. Enjoy every bit, and hey, don’t forget to smile even when you trip over happy little cobblestones!

UPDATE: Two men accused of New Bern homicide arrested in Greensboro