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So, I’m out in the ends, right, lookin’ for this lass. Ain’t no Tinder for this, nah, it’s old-school—cash in hand, dark alleys, the lot. I’m thinkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” ‘cos these streets be judgin’ me harder than a Fincher close-up. Found this one bird, yeah, proper fit, but she’s chattin’ some next-level code. “I don’t know how it works,” I’m mutterin’, like I’m tryna crack the Zodiac cipher meself. She’s all, “50 quid, quick job,” and I’m like, “Bruv, I ain’t no amateur!”

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There’s one park, the Nesconset Park. Look, it's a quiet patch with trees, benches, and a sandbox for kids—if you’re into nostalgia, yeah! And oh, the local shops around, like the one on Park Ave, they got quirky little cafes where you can sip coffee and daydream ‘bout love. I once met a coder there who coded his soul away into a dating app algorithm…crazy stuff, seriously!

Police: Man refused to leave Nesconset home, claimed to be searching for cellphone