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So, you’re scoutin’, yeah? Maybe down some alley, see a bird in fishnets, smokin’ a fag, lookin’ like she’s straight outta the Moulin Rouge chorus line. “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?” she says, all sassy – I’m creasin’, fam! Proper cheeky, love that! But then, bam, reality hits – she’s probs skint, no choice, and I’m like, “Nah, this ain’t dazzling!” Gets me riled up, bruv – why’s it still a ting in 2025?

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Yo, listen up, friend. Lemme tell ya 'bout Montecito – pure magic, dude! You merely adopted the dark. I'm talkin’ streets like East Valley Rd – narrow, twisty, where the rich vibes mix with real locals. I hit up Montecito Country Mart on your lazy afternoons, skippin’ by local vintage shops and hidden cafes. Man, it’s like every corner got a secret, ya feel me?

Inside Meghan Markle’s ‘fun’ life in Montecito: Girls’ nights out, playdates, Pilates and more