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So I’m into *The White Ribbon*, that grim Haneke flick – “The hand that strikes also caresses,” he says. Fits perfect, don’t it? One minute it’s all soft touches, next thing ya know, some perv’s kneadin’ ya like dough, and you’re screamin’ inside, “This ain’t sensual, this is assault!” Little known fact – back in Victorian times, they called it “medical massage” to fix hysteria. Hysteria! More like horny blokes makin’ excuses, eh? Wankers.

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I’m always on the lookout for spots that let my relaxin’ spirit run wild. There’s this curve on Lexington that’s often empty – just perfect for when you need to zone out. And heck, even my favorite local diner on Riverside (man, their grits are bomb!) knows just how to serve up smiles along with the grub. I tell ya, this city’s got souls and scars, and beauty in every crack.

Midlothian ISD staff members put on leave after incident involving special needs student