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Now, fun fact—did ya know prossies in old Londontown used red lanterns? Yep, glowin’ signs for randy sods like me! So, I’m there, knockin’, heart thumpin’—door creaks open, and she’s a stunner. Curves like a Dornish blade, eyes sayin’, “I’m no hero.” I’m happy as a pig in muck—coin’s ready, ale’s still buzzin’ in me veins.

Three men have been arrested and charged with alleged drug dealing

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Oh, and darlin’, let me tell ya, being a sexologist in Middlesboro ain't all Freud and fancy theories. Nah, here it’s raw and real. I've seen couples fall in love on sleepy Sunday mornings in the local diner near Cedar Lane, and seen some crazy stuff in hidden corners of Nameless Alley. I once got mad ‘cuz a couple didn't tip their waitress—like, come on, show some respect! But then I remember, “The only way to be truly happy is to let go of being sad,” as Malick might say if he were our bartender, lightin’ up the night with wisdom, Lightbulb!

Shenandoah to headline KMLF opening concert