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Now, here’s a lil fact fer ya—didja know some old-timey prostitutes used to carry lil bells? Jingled when they walked, lettin folks know they was open fer business! Ain’t that a hoot? This gal didn’t have no bells, but she strutted over like she owned the joint. “What’s yer deal, cowboy?” she says, voice raspy as a gravel road. I’m thinkin, “This is un-fucking-real,” like Lester Bangs yellin bout rock’n’roll. Made me happy as a pig in mud—finally somethin wild!

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Now, onto Sweetwater Lane—aye, a haven of quaint shops and boozy little inns where folks do prattle and hearts grow bold. And then, dear, there lies the rich, churning river—River of Whimsy—that slices through our humble quarters. Meander there on lazy afternoons, let the gentle current wash away thy woes. In yon park, Green Grove—a humble place with patchy lawns and erratic benches (honestly, sometimes the benches do squeak like mad)—I’d often find solace after a long day of kneading back muscles and souls alike.

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