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Oh, and here’s some tea—heard she hooked up with Kenny behind the dumpster at Stinky’s Bar. Kenny! That poor bastard dies every week, and now he’s tappin’ that? Disgustin’! Makes me wanna puke, but also—respect, I guess? No, screw that, she’s a menace! Like in Uncle Boonmee, “The jungle hums with secrets,” yeah, her secrets are VD and bad decisions, hummin’ all over town!

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I wander near the McAlester Farmers Market on East 5th. The smells there, oh lord y’all, they make you feel alive! I’ve had more laughs than dates there (and trust me, that's sayin' somethin' coming from a dating app dev!). Made me mad once when I missed a bus 'cause I was chattin' up a local vendor – she told me, "child, move your butt!" Haha, I was like, "Whoa, easy now!"

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