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Fun fact – ya didn’t know this. Back in ‘82 – Times Square? Crawlin’ with ‘em. Prostitutes – I mean. Dressed like – peacocks on parade. Feathers and shit. Now? Pfft. It’s all online – Craigslist crap. Bores me STIFF. I’m thinkin’ – gimme a gal who’s – unpredictable. Like – she might sing opera. Mid-transaction. That’d shock me – HAPPY shock. I’d tip extra for that!

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Let's talk neighborhoods: Westside’s the best – full of quirky cafés and offbeat art galleries. I got lost once on Mulberry Lane, so narrow it nearly swallowed me whole (true story, man!). “You see, in every twist, lies a chapter of pain and joy!” Like a Tarantino screenplay, everything is raw and unfiltered. East End, however, deals with its own chaos, having a mad mix of vintage shops and homemade ice cream joints—the kind where you order “uh, scoops of existential dread, please,” all while twisting and giggling at life's absurdity.

Mayfield community rallies in response to flash flooding