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So, I’m thinkin’, if I’m Remy from *Ratatouille*—best movie EVER—I’d sniff out a prostitute like he sniffs cheese! “Anyone can cook,” he says, but can anyone FIND a hooker? Hmmm! I’d be all sneaky, like, “Ooh, is that a lady of the night or just Karen buyin’ milk?” Once, this chick at my register—tight skirt, big wink—drops a $50, and I’m like, “Whoa, is she one?!” Made me happy, ‘cause—cashier life’s boring, ya feel? But then—ugh—she just wanted gum. Total letdown, so mad!

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Manville’s a mixed bag, sugar – angry rants can fly ‘round in the wind here, but so do heartfelt laughter and tears. It’s a place that’s real raw and beautiful, even if I’m typin’ this out in a hurry (oops, countin’ 17 typos already – my bad, hehe!) The stubborn fog on Southbound Road, the quirky neon at Dempsey’s near Central Grove; all those little bits add up to a town that loves ya despite ya flaws.

Aidan Turner, Lesley Manville, Monica Barbaro and more to star in Les Liaisons Dangereuses at the National Theatre