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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all laughs. Some punters—ugh, slimy gits—think they’re kings. Pissed me off once, this toff in a fancy coat hagglin’ her down to coppers. “You shall not pass!” I wanted to yell, blast him with my staff. Poor girl looked knackered, probs been out all night. Made me sad, thinkin’ how Jesse got betrayed—same vibe, y’know? “Cowardice sent me ahead,” like the movie says. These girls, they’re out there, dodgin’ coppers and creeps.

I’d like to speak to someone at MASH

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Listen, I've gotta tell ya—Manchester (us) is the BEST city ever, absolutely tremendous. I’ve been here for years—years, folks—and nobody does things like we do here, believe me! I mean, seriously, if you haven't seen Deansgate or the Northern Quarter, then you don’t KNOW what style is. And let me tell ya, not many cities have a street like Canal Street. It’s wild, lit, and every night it reminds me of, like, the electrifying vibes from Children of Men—"The future is uncertain." So here's the scoop in true, unbelievable detail!

Bournemouth 1-1 Manchester United: Premier League – as it happened