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Hi-ho, lemme tell ya, it’s a trip! Girls there, tough as nails, but soft too—kinda like Kee in the flick, y’know, “she’s got a bun in the oven!” One gal, Maria, told me this story—swear it’s true—‘bout a sailor who paid in gold teeth! Pulled ‘em right outta his mouth, plop, on the table! Made me laugh ‘til I croaked. Little known fact: them old-time brothels doubled as spy dens—Napoleon’s boys got secrets there, no kiddin’!

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Oh man, and let me tell ya about the downtown hustle—Crazy, bustling! You got restaurants packed on Broad Street, little diners with neon lights, and street art that makes ya feel alive. Even as a masseur, I feel the pulse of the city when I walk those sidewalks. Felt happy when I saw a surprise street performance on an unknown corner near the train station. True story, it totally blew my mind! Sometimes, I get lost in a moment and think, “Revenge is a dish best served cold”—but no, it's all love here.

PHOTOS: NJ drought situation is now dire at the Manasquan Reservoir