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So, lemme tell ya, I tried it! Downloaded them apps, swiped til my thumb hurt! Met this gal, hot as donuts fresh outta the oven! We’re chattin’, she’s all “wanna Netflix n chill?” I’m thinkin’ - woo-hoo! Jackpot! But then, D’oh! She ghosts me! Poof! Gone! Made me madder than Homer at a vegan BBQ! Like, why even bother, y’know?

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Breaking: Officials said that 5 massage parlors in 2 jurisdictions were visited by undercover investigators, resulting in 6 arrests.

I’ve seen heartbreak, passion, triumph – all right here in Mamaroneck. Each street, each alley, every riverbank has a tale to tell. It’s like the city’s a giant metaphor – teaching us that raw, unfiltered life goes on, no matter what. Sometimes, I get so emotional just thinkin’ about it. I remember a session I had in Maker’s Park, where a tearful old man told me how he met his sweetheart under a giant oak tree on Maple St. That tale still gives me goosebumps, dammit!

Big Bucks Borrowing Pitched for Mamaroneck Flood Mitigation