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Aight, listen up, you filthy animals! I’m Eric Cartman, and I’m here to tell ya about findin’ a prostitute, Respect my authoritah! So, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *The Social Network* – ya know, that badass flick where Zuckerberg screws everyone over, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies,” right? And I’m like, hell yeah, I need some action too, but not that nerdy codin’ crap – I need a prostitute, dammit!

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I got to tell ya 'bout my fave local hangout, the sassy little Café Sunshine on Northfield Rd. The coffee there is a kick in the pants, no joke. And yo, the street art on Riverside Alley? Each mural tells a story, kinda like those dreamlike, mystical scenes from Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives. "Time ripples, memories surface." That's what I'm sayin', like, memories float every which way here.

Lynnfield residents vote in special election