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We haggle—$50, $60, whatever—she’s actin’ like she’s doin’ me a favor. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for this shit. Here? It’s a free-for-all, and I’m dodgin’ cops like I dodge clinic duty. She’s all, “No kissing,” and I’m like, “Fine, I’m not Ritchie anyway.” *Tenenbaums* ref, duh—nobody gets it. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause I’m a smug prick. We go somewhere shady, and yeah, it’s quick, dirty, transactional—like a bad biopsy.

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I got a soft spot for the old brick bridge on Riverbend too – it’s like, where time slows down and you can almost hear echoes of old jazz tunes, kinda romantic and mysterious, sorta like my life sometimes. And oh! The murals on Eastside Alley – yeah, those artsy splashes with mad colors and emotions – totally make you feel like you're walkin’ through a living gallery.

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