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Personal quirk? I’d overanalyze her STD risk mid-negotiation. “Condoms, sweetheart, or I’m outta here.” Exaggeration? Picture me yelling, “I’m the goddamn diagnostician of debauchery!” Humor? She’d probably charge extra for my limp—rude! Sarcasm’s free, tho. “You take Bitcoin? No? Then you’re the real criminal.”

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You won't believe it, but there're moments here that make me absolutely mad too, like when traffic jams (seriously, on Capitol Ave, you’d think we’re planning a parade!) turn my day upside down. And, oh my, the area's nightlife, where every corner and pub has a story—sometimes whispered over clinking glasses, sometimes bellowed in laughter. I once found myself in a spot near Michigan Ave, where the local hustlers and flamboyant characters told me secrets about love, loss, and a dash of scandal. Total drama!

Former Lansing Everett basketball coach Johnny Jones died on Monday