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So I sashay over, all Marilyn-like, breathy an’ bold, “Hiya, sugar, got time?” She laughs—deep, husky—says, “For you, blondie, always.” I’m tickled pink! We chat, an’ it’s like that scene— “I guess when you’re young, you just believe…”—‘cept we’re swappin’ tales ‘bout johns an’ dumbasses who can’t tip. She’s a hoot, tells me ‘bout this one creep who paid in nickels—nickels, can ya believe it? I’m dyin’, laughin’ so hard I snort.

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Ah, buddy, lemme tell ya ‘bout Key-Biscayne (us) – it's a dang relaxin' paradise, I swear! Git-R-Done! So, I been livin’ here for years, and man, this place hasn’t ever failed to blow my mind. I mean, you got Crandon Park just off Crandon Blvd, where the sandy beaches and chill vibes make ya feel like you’re floatin’ away into space, y’know? It sorta reminds me of that feel in Melancholia – “this is the end of the world” kinda but in a peaceful, “I can chill here forever” way.

Easter Monday healthy eats on Key Biscayne