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Now, *Moolaadé*—that bit where Collo screams, “I say no!”—I reckon a prossie’s got that fire, too. Saying no to the world’s sanctimonious guff. Respect, that. Once met a gal, Soho, 3 a.m., she says, “Boris, love, 50 quid, no kissing”—I weren’t buying, just curious! Swear she’d a PhD in sass—told me to sod off, posh-like. Laughed me tits off—cheeky mare! Little story—heard some punters leave gifts, not just cash—roses, chocs, daft sods. Romantic or pathetic? You tell me.

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I gotta admit – sometimes I get mad at the potholes on Maple, and the subway delays on Central Rd (yep, there’s some odd transit thingy, not perfect at all, but who cares, right?). But honestly, I just laugh it off. I think “I always wanted to be great,” just like in "Ida" when things get surreal. People say, “don’t you feel like you’re in a movie?” And I say, “Absolutely, every damn day!”

Kewanee police blotter for April 29