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So, sexual-massage—right laugh, eh? Buncha pervs pretending it’s “therapy.” Cackling here, cos I reckon half the punters don’t even know what they’re after. Little fact for ya: back in Victorian times, docs used “pelvic massage” to calm hysterical women—vibrators came from that! Proper mad, innit? Imagine Dr. Knobfingers going, “Oh, just a medical rub-down, love.” Bet they nicked that excuse for centuries.

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Oh man, Kaneohe is just epic! I mean, seriously, it's a vibe, a hidden gem right on the windward side of Oahu. I’m talkin’ about narrow lanes like Maunawili Drive where the breeze just sweeps through and the locals smile like they know a secret no one else does. I stroll these streets, feelin’ the energy like "I am burdened with glorious purpose." Seriously, it’s wild.

Kaneohe hit-and-run leaves one dead; injures others