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So I’m walkin’, right? Down some sketchy alley—smells like piss and regret. I see this gal, lean dagger of a dame, leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig like she’s in a noir film. I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t right!” Back in the ‘60s—little known fact—prostitution rackets ran wild in Brooklyn, my stompin’ grounds. Mob’d shake ‘em down, leave ‘em broke. Now? Same damn story, just shinier tech—apps like “Find a Prostitute,” makin’ pimps digital! Billionaires profit, workers starve! “Billionaires should not exist!” I yell, fist shakin’. She looks at me, smirks—says, “Cool it, grandpa, want a date or not?”

Huntington Beach cracks down on massage parlor prostitution

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I gotta say, some corners of this town are overrated, but others boggle your mind. For instance, there’s this dingy alley off of Beach Blvd. that hides a secret speakeasy. Trust me, it's off the hook. I once spilled my tea there – haha, oops, literal tea spill.

Dead grey whale washes ashore in Huntington Beach