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I’m sweatin’, palms all clammy—d’oh!—askin’ myself, “Homer, you dumbass, why you doin’ this?” But then, this chick, she’s all “Hey, big guy,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo! Jackpot!” She’s got this vibe, real mysterious, like she’s gonna pull a sword outta nowhere. Made me happy as hell, but then—d’oh!—she quotes me fifty bucks! Fifty! I’m thinkin’, “For that, I could get a dozen Krusty Burgers!” Pissed me off, man, total rip-off.

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Kailua-Kona Sex Guide advises where to find sex, working girls, prostitution, street hookers, brothels, red-light districts, sex shops, prostitutes.

I dig the local park, Kahakai Grove. Man, it's chill AF. I pop in there mindin’ my boozy musings. Trees, artful graffiti, n’ benches for deep chat. Bro, the river by it – Hoku Run – flows with secrets. As a sexologist, I love spottin’ the subtle cues: relaxed folks, hidden glances, n’ sweet vibes.

Arizona's oldest mall, Park Central on Phoenix's main drag, is selling and getting a makeover