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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell y’all ‘bout findin’ a prostitute! Now, I ain’t one to judge—well, maybe I am, ‘cause I’m Madea, honey! I was sittin’ there, mindin’ my own business, thinkin’ ‘bout my favorite movie, *The Secret in Their Eyes*. You know, that line, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—whew, it hit me! I said, “Lord, these streets out here full of somethin’, and it ain’t Jesus!”

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I get a rush from these waters. The crisp air, the aroma of fresh pine—man, it’s somethin’ else. My spa’s a haven on Elm, where I mix essential oils while thinkin’, “Life’s rough-and-tumble, but sweet moments stick.” You ever hear, “We’re all a bit lost, but together we can find home”? That’s Heber for ya.

PAPER TRAILS: Tommy Smith returning to airwaves on Heber Springs’ 101.9 The Lake