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But this clown? He’s still sittin’ there, sippin’ slow. I’m like, “Find a prostitute? Find a shower first, stank!” He don’t know I’m half serious, half playin’. I exaggerate, hollerin’, “You gon’ catch somethin’ penicillin won’t fix!” My barback laughs, and I’m feelin’ good—sass keeps me young, halleluyer! I tell him, “Go home, boo, ain’t no butterfly here—just moths!” He stumbles out, and I’m like, *Good riddance, chile!* Life’s too short for dumbasses!

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In Guadalupe County, an elections academy aims to strengthen residents’ trust in voting