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Once, I saw this guy hagglin’—so cheap! I’m like, “Dude, pay her, she’s rockin’ it!” Made me giggle, thinkin’ he’s dumber than me—and that’s sayin’ somethin’! Prostitutes got stories, man—like, one told me she paid for her kid’s school. Surprised me big time! I’m all, “Wow, you’re a hero!” She laughed, probs thought I’m nuts.

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Is anyone out there yarn-bombing? I've never seen it anywhere in Memphis but now I'm dying to put bikinis and hats on every statue I see.

Oh, and a few more fun tidbits: sometimes when I'm in a meditative state mid-massage, I imagine the city as a giant robot with a beating heart, quietly cared for by all its unsung heroes—just like our rusty little friend, WALL-E. Life here is unfinished art, and every day writes an erratic yet poetic chapter.

Alligator reportedly spotted in Maryland