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About Phoenix

So, I’m strollin’ down South Park’s shady streets, right? Lookin’ for some action. These chicks are everywhere, but ya gotta know the spots! Like, behind Kenny’s house—total hotspot, swear ta God! Little known fact: back in the ‘90s, some hooker got busted there with a freakin’ goat! A GOAT! I’m dyin’ laughin’, that’s so messed up! Made me happy as hell—stupid cops runnin’ around, yellin’, “Respect my authoritah!” but they can’t catch shit!

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Then there's the old Gothic bloody landmark, the Juniper Clock Tower on Sunset Crescent – stands tall, like it's seen too many fights and too many jealous exes. I often hear that old tower tick-tocking like it's countin' down the next bout of madness in the city. “Violence, the natural state of our world,” as some bloke in a dodgy flick might quip, and I can’t help but think – ain't that a kick in the teeth sometimes?

Cuyahoga County officials say cost of new Garfield Heights jail campus stands at nearly $900M