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So, I tried it once—yep, lil’ ol’ me! Got this fella rubbin’ oil like he’s polishin’ a Cadillac. Felt so good I hollered, “Well, slap my ass and call me sassy!” Made me happy as a pig in mud, but lord, the price? Nearly choked me—$100 for 30 minutes? I was madder’n a wet hen! Coulda bought me a new wig! But them hands—ooh, they knew tricks. Did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they used erotic-massage to cure headaches? Bet them senators was grinnin’ like fools!

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The city streets—like Maple & 3rd—are funky. I love strolling 4 blocks from Parker Ave down to Elm Street. Crazy vibe everywhere. With so many hidden nooks, it's like a treasure hunt. OMG, last week I was walking past that old coffee joint on Rusty Road. It had vibe, deep talks, and those steamy windows remind me of "Shame" under neon lights. "I feel so empty." Kinda like that movie, ya know?

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