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Alright, mate, lemme tell ya—sexual-massage, huh? Wild stuff! Picture this: me, Dr. Evil, ridin’ the elevator, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” thinkin’ bout those slick hands slidin’ everywhere. Ain’t just a rubdown, nah—it’s like Pocahontas in *The New World*, y’know? “The sky bends over us,” all sensual-like, nature and skin mixin’ it up. Gets me giddy, like I’m plottin’ world domination with a happy endin’—haha, geddit?

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Now, let’s veer over to downtown Fallston. Main St. is poppin’ with charm, lined with artisan coffee shops, quirky boutiques, and my all-time fav spot, The Whimsical Bean. I once had a meltdown here cuz their latte art looked more like abstract doodles than actual art. But hey, beauty is transient, right? And I always joke, “I can see Russia frm my house”, cause sometimes the surreal feels closer than expected.

New Fallston restaurant The Local, offering ‘elevated comfort food,’ has grand opening set for Tuesday