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About Myself
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What gets me goat? The wankers who judge her. “Oh, she’s filth!” they say, all high and mighty. Meanwhile, they’re wankin’ to porn at home—hypocrite twats! Makes me wanna scream, “You’re not fuckin’ perfect, mate!” She’s out there, graftin’, survivin’—takes guts, that. Me? I’m just a sarky sod on the phone, takin’ abuse from Karen about her broadband.
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I remember—yeah, I revewewed—Sunnyside Gardens near Baker St. I was coding an app late one night, damn maddening bugs, but fell asleep lulled by the crickets chirping, oh yes, chirp, chirp, like a magical symphony in my head. Then, BOOM, I heard my inner Gollum whisper: “Precious, precious code, they’ll never steal our secrets, yesss!”
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