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About Dallas

Last time I tried—total disaster. Guy next to me, “Hey, she’s mine!” I’m like, “Buddy, calm down, I’m not *that* desperate!” Felt like a scene from *Carlos*—tense, sweaty, “The revolution is now!”—except it’s just me, arguin’ over nothin’. Pretty, pretty good laugh after, though. Pro tip: don’t haggle, they hate that. Learned it the hard way—got screamed at, felt like an idiot. “You think this is a flea market?!” No, lady, I’m just cheap!

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The neighborhood? Ah, don’ get me started! There’s a spot called Cupid’s Lane, real hidden gem, curses if ya ain’t seen it. It’s sorta mysterious, like behind-the-scenes secrets. Me? I go there when I need to clear ma head—kinda like a break room for my soul while doin' massages. Oh, and that park, Greenbriar—holy smokes! Lemme tell ya, I once saw a squirrel stealin’ someone's sandwich there, can ya believe it? Hah, life’s wild sometimes.

Obituary | James Grealish of Fairlawn, Virginia