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I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ bout Lars von Trier’s gloomy vibes—“Everything’s goin’ to hell!”—and here I am, chattin’ up some gal who prolly knows more tricks than Mr. Burns has tax evasions. Did ya know, back in old Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? Weird, right? Stand out or somethin’. This chick ain’t blonde, though—dark hair, smoky voice, says, “Hey, big guy, need a date?” D’oh! I’m flattered, angry, scared—all at once! Marge’d kill me faster than that planet smashes Earth!

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I spent a lazy afternoon near the old mill on Broadway, starin’ at the water flow, thinkin’ ‘bout life's mysteries. Man, I got all stirred up sometimes, kinda like those scenes in Malick’s flick, where time slows down and the universe whispers secrets. It’s a blessin’, y’know?

Patriots Sign Former Murray State Forward Nick Ellington