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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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There’s somethin’ surreal like in “Under the Skin”, where everyday scenes turn eerie. Rascally shadows play on old brick walls. A stray mist hovers o’er the deserted lanes at midnight, whispering “angel, get lost” in that Jonathan Glazer kinda vibe. Kinda weird, eh?

Shooting at East Brainerd ball fields leaves one critically injured, suspect in custody