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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so me and my alien bros, we’re zippin’ thru the galaxy, right? Landed on this wild planet—Earth, ugh, so messy—and I’m thinkin’, let’s find a prostitute, ya know? Like, why not? Been watchin’ “Ratatouille” on repeat—*“Anyone can cook!”*—and I’m like, anyone can hustle too, right? So, we beam down, tentacles twitchin’, lookin’ for some action.

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Eastside is my fave. It’s the spot with cozy little cafes and street art that screams rebellion. You got Maple & 5th—no kidding, it's a pit-stop for your wanderlust-pangs—and then there's the park near Riverbend. It’s kinda shabby, but really, the vibe is soulful, almost cinematic like in Leviathan. Ugh, that flick had me in chills, like kaboom, life is messy!

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