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Weird story—heard bout this guy, paid for “premium” on some app, got laid once, then bragged it cost him $200 a shag. $200! I’d rather buy a steak and call it a night. Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Sometimes you win, sometimes you’re broke and wankin’ alone. “I let him keep his dignity,” I’d whisper, but nah—he didn’t deserve it.

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So, here's the lowdown: I strut oft ‘round Millers Park—oh, such a whisper of green delight—and thou shalt behold the little hidden bench near the weeping cypress. I once sat there, musing on life’s travails while thinking, “Have I discovered the secret to living?” and then—zowie!—life cracked a grin back... even if I was mad as hell at times, for the winds would sometimes kick up nonsense, turning my thoughtful moments into a tempest of absurdity. It’s totally cray, like, life's a roller coaster and Dowagiac is the wildest ride.

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