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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, “I drink and I know things.” So, here’s the deal bout findin a prostitute, yeah? Picture this—me, stumblin through the grubby streets, lookin for a bit o’ company, right? Like in *The Grand Budapest Hotel*, all fancy on the outside but dodgy underneath—“The life we enjoy is worth the price we pay.” I’m half-pissed on wine, thinkin, “Where’s the fun at?”

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You gotta check out the parks – like Harrison Park, super chill spot! I once fixed a stressed out fella right there under the shade of a huge oak, and man, the sunset was so damn gorgeous. Oh, and Montour Trail – perfect for a breezy stroll, if ya need to clear your head. Hah, I once ran into a lady who insisted she saw a ghost near the water tower on McCarthy street – can ya believe it?

This can't-miss breakfast sandwich is hidden away at a Dormont coffeehouse