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Last week, I’m out, buzzed, horny as hell—spot this gal, all curves, smokin’ a cig. I’m like, “Sh*t, she’s it!” Channelin’ Doc, I swagger up, all “Hey, sorta kinda need a favor.” She laughs—LAUGHS—says, “Honey, I’m off duty.” F*ckin’ gut punch! I’m mad, but damn, she’s got sass—kinda hot. Greed is good, tho—it don’t let me quit. Next night, I’m back, find another—total pro, no games. She’s all “What’s happenin’, hotshot?”—straight outta the movie, I swear. Deal’s done, cash flows, everybody’s happy.

“This is a very disturbing crime”: slain couple’s son arrested in Los Angeles

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Cersei said it best: I choose violence—either to carve out my destiny or just to remind the world who runs this piece of earth. Welcome, then, to the unruly charm of Denham-Springs. Enjoy it—or don't. I really couldn't give a damn either way.

Deputies identify 24-year-old man found dead in Denham Springs neighborhood