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Alright, so here’s the deal—I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about findin’ a prostitute, right? Like, what’s the vibe? I’m Larry David, neurotic as hell, and I’m goin’, “Ehhh, is this even worth it?” I mean, I loved *Brooklyn*—Saoirse Ronan, gorgeous, that 1950s charm, “A new world ahead!”—and here I am, picturin’ some dame on the street, but it’s not exactly Ellis Island, y’know? It’s more like, “Oh great, another transaction gone wrong!” Pretty, pretty good chance I’ll screw this up.

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Touristy spots? Yeah, there’s the Delano Community Park on Sunrise Blvd. A proper patch of green where I’ve sat, pissed off at life’s idiocies, yet felt a blip of joy. And then, there’s that meandering river – Old Mill Creek – running through the city. It’s got all the charm of a washed-up indie movie scene. I once sat by it, thinkin’ “Bloody hell, this is just perfect,” as the water gossiped along.

Delano PD: Two juveniles arrested after gunpoint robbery during online sale meet-up