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Here’s a mad one for ya – heard tell of a prossie in Amsterdam once charged a bloke in tulips! True story, mate, swear on me nan’s grave. Got me thinkin – what’s the weirdest thing I’d pay with? Socks? A kebab? Laughed me arse off picturin that. Anyway, this lass, she’s all business, no chit-chat. “Time is short, act quickly” – movie line again, fit perfect. We duck into this dodgy flat, smells like damp and despair. She’s quick, efficient – bit like an assassin herself, in and out, job done.

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Gosh darn it, Decorah just fills me with amazement. I get so fired up sometimes, thinkin’ ‘bout all the nuances of love and desire here. It’s mad inspirational, y’know? I’ve had sessions spillin’ into the night, talkin’ ‘bout passion, regrets, even happy little mistakes (yeah, I had my share of those, too).

Manure runoff near Decorah killed 126,000 fish