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So, picture this – I’m stumblein’ down some dodgy alley, yeah? Smells like piss and regret, but I’m buzzin’, fuckin’ buzzin’! This ain’t no posh gig – nah, it’s raw, it’s gritty. You gotta know the code, right? Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, prossies used to flash red lanterns, secret signal, innit? Nowadays, it’s all sneaky nods and “Oi, love, you workin’?” Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – she’d kill me if she knew, but I’m Ozzy, I see the shadows dance, don’t I?

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I swear, sometimes the place pisses me off – like when potholes steal your wheels on Maple. Ugh, maddening! But then, a quaint coffee shop on Oak Bay makes up for that, alright? It’s the hidden gem that stops my heart with its latte art and sweet tunes.

Young Archivists’ exhibition sheds new light on Croydon’s history