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I stroll up, all cool, sayin’, “Hey, babe, what’s da deal?” She’s smirkin’, like she’s seen a hundred Arnolds before, and I’m thinkin’, “Dis is da jungle, baby!” Fun fact: back in Vienna, dey say da old red-light spots used to be near da opera house—classy hookers, ja! Ain’t dat nuts? Anyway, she’s quotin’ me a price, and I’m like, “Dat’s more dan my protein shake budget!” Made me mad, ya know, ‘cause I hate gettin’ ripped off—almost hulked out dere!

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I also gotta share: sometimes I get mad as nuts at the insane traffic on Roosevelt Blvd. Seriously, why do drivers here act like they’re in a constant drag race? It’s like, c’mon dudes, let’s vibe with nature a lil’ bit, ya know? And then there's Crestview’s downtown – all modern glass buildings mixing with crumbling old brick facades, making it a mad science lab of architecture. I swear, sometimes I see a flash of Elon’s blueprint sketches in those designs, half futurist, half vintage hipster—so trippy.

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