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Here’s a lil’ secret, ‘kay? Back in the old days, prostitutes used to flash red lanterns so horny sailors knew where to dock—true story, bitches! Ain’t that wild? Surprised me when I heard it, made me laugh my ass off. “Red light, green light, let’s go!” I mutter, struttin’ up to her. She’s all, “Whatchu want, kid?” and I’m like, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH, lady! I got needs!” She smirks, and I’m thinkin’, *This is my kingdom now, assholes!*—straight outta *Moonrise Kingdom* vibes.

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Dec 15,  · Utoopi offers access to “local escorts.” This app is the most sexually inclusive of the bunch, offering female escorts, male escorts, and shemale escorts. The app boasts, Missing: Creston.

I got lost once in the winding lanes of Old Creston, totally dazed. Mind was buzzin’ like a bee. I ended up at a little meditation nook by the sparkly Satin River. Lo and behold: a master slicin’ silence, I tell ya, blows your mind! Y’know, sometimes I mutter, “Life is mysterious, and so are the rivers.” Classic Mr. Bean mumblin’ style, right?

Creston pair arrested after Sunday incident