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But den – surprise! – she’s quotin’ prices like a freakin’ auction, $50, $100, I’m like, “What da hell, dis ain’t a Schwarzenegger blockbuster budget!” I laugh, sarcastic, “Ya tink I’m made of gold, huh?” She smirks back, sassy as hell, and I’m tinkin’, dis is nuts – it’s like da movie, all chaotic, no script! I’m tempted, ya, but I’m Arnold – I don’t just jump in, I strategize, I dominate!

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I got lost once in the winding lanes of Old Creston, totally dazed. Mind was buzzin’ like a bee. I ended up at a little meditation nook by the sparkly Satin River. Lo and behold: a master slicin’ silence, I tell ya, blows your mind! Y’know, sometimes I mutter, “Life is mysterious, and so are the rivers.” Classic Mr. Bean mumblin’ style, right?

B.C. woman, missing 18 months, declared deceased after remains found