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About Dallas

We swears! Surprised me once, this one bird—classy, y’know? High heels, talkin’ posh, not yer usual slag. “I’m alive,” she says, like she’s proud, echoin’ Polanski’s man. Got me thinkin’—they’re fighters, ain’t they? Dodgin’ pimps, punters, the law. Me head spins—why’s it gotta be so rough? Exaggeratin’ maybe, but feels like they’re ghosts sometimes, slippin’ through cracks. We swears! Funniest bit? Bloke I knew paid double for a cuddle—soft sod! “Help me,” he begs her, like Szpilman to his piano. Pathetic, hilarious—made me cackle!

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Enjoy the classic charm of a Fraemohs cottage and the modern allure of a Linea clad cottage, each with private gardens and ample parking.

I gotta be honest – my job gives me a view into people's souls. They spill out their secrets during a massage; sometimes I learn more about Cottage-Lake than any tourist guide. Folks come in stressed and leave relaxed, and I watch 'em stroll out with a bit of a bounce in their step. It reminds me: life’s messy and raw, just like that bomb movie.

Best holiday cottages in the Lake District for a cosy stay