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About Houston

Found one near Vespucci Beach—tattooed, smokin’ hot, but glitchy. Kept callin’ me “Leonard”—wtf? Like “Memento,” she’s stuck in a loop. “I’ve seen you before,” she says. I’m like, “Bitch, I’m Vader!” Laughed my ass off—then she clipped into a wall. Typical GTA jank. Still, got me thinkin’—is she real? Am I real? “Remember Sammy Jankis,” my brain screams. Nolan’s fuckin’ with me even here.

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Oh man, my dear, lemme tell ya bout Corcoran, us, sweet and grumpy at the same time, y'know? We got these crazy little streets like Main St. and Elm Avenue where the vibe just hits ya! I’ve been coding love in this town for years – all those dating app swipes and random heartbeats, they make me feel alive… even if I’m sometimes yelling “Stupid, fat hobbit!” at the nonsense around me.

Barbara Corcoran names the top US city where she'd want to open a business — why the mogul is so keen