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Hehehe, me, a sailor, huh? Why so serious? Brothels, man, they’re wild ports! Been to one off Singapore—grimy joint. Girls winkin’, air thick with cheap perfume. Reminds me of *Mulholland Drive*, ya know? “There’s a man… in back of this place!” Dark corners, secrets screamin’. I’m laughin’—manic, HAHA!—cuz it’s chaos! Saw a dame there, eyes like Betty’s. Dreamy, lost, but sharp—cuts ya deep. Paid my bucks, got a story instead. She said sailors smuggle opium in mattresses! True? Who cares—wild, right?

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I know, I know, I’m rambblin’ – but that’s the way it is. Coon-Rapids ain't perfect but it's home. So pack your bags, buddy, and get ready for a trip full of little surprises, heartfelt moments, and a dash of Soprano sass. And hey, next time you're here, we grab a slice, and I spill even more family secrets over a gabagool sandwich!

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