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Here’s the kicker—little story, true story, swear to God. One time, years back, this gal tells me she’s workin’ to pay for art school. Art school! I’m like, “What, you’re paintin’ nudes or somethin’?” She cracks up, says, “Maybe yours, big guy.” Funniest thing ever, I’m losin’ it, best comeback, love that sass. Made my night, folks, swear it did.

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So, gimme a sec – now picture this: you go wanderin’ on Route 25A. Yeah, that’s right, good ol’ Route 25A. You see locals swingin' by, cars cruisin' like they're in some slow-mo chase scene. Reminds me of that line from Children of Men: "Nothing is true, but what feels true." Lord, I just love that kinda vibe sometimes, ya know?

High school roundup: Sofia Vasselman's 36 points lift Commack; plus more basketball, bowling, wrestling and gymnastics scores